" You Snooze you loose"

28 July 2007.

This Blog is not a diary.
Neither is it a Log Book.
This is just the publication of my thoughts as they happen.
Day to day.


I have been reading a very well researched and equally well written book : ' Maximum City' by Suketu Mehta.

I feel this book ,says it all.
You can live Mumbai to a great extent, if you read and understand the sentiments poured out through this effort.
You can live through both sides of the coin, too.
These are my feelings.

I have never liked the thought of living in that city ever.
Off late I have had lucrative offers from this city too, to take up corporate challenges but I have always kept away from them.
I should have accepted one to begin with, if I had to, in 1994 itself when I took my so called premature retirement from this very city itself.
I had a strange premonition then that I do not belong to this city.Its ways.
We did not jell then, we do not jell now.

After reading this book I am glad that I walked away from that city then, as by now, for sure ,my life would have been hell.
Mumbai moulds you into loving Mumbai... the mettle that I am made of would have remained un-mouldable, and I would have failed miserably.

Wars are won in the minds of Generals.
Once I was permitted to 'retire' from the IAF I was pretty sure in the battlefield of Mumbai, I would loose.
Battle after battle.
And also the war of life that is perpetually on, in my case.
As I could never agree with the ways of Mumbai.
Hence I turned my back to it.
After reading this book and analysing the era covered there in... an era that is almost the same, that I would have lived through had I stayed back, i.e. from early 90's to the early 2000's. I am so glad that I showed my back to the economic capital where money makes the mare go...not humane humans.
I wonder how humanity thrives in Mumbai.
I guess it does so as all of them indeed live in the 'Nows.' too.
Bewildered I am how the masses amass there...and how they prosper, too.
Why people insist on calling it the land of opportunity...is another predicament to me.
But all of that is in right now right in front of the eye.

So is a very lucrative opportunity to go and join and prosper there!
To make hay while the sun shines.

But I decide not too.
Yet again...after almost 15 years.
It make sno difference to Mumbai if I do not.
Mumabi lives on without me..will continue to thrive too.
So why doubt..why not salute them.
All Mumbaikars!
Why not mark yourself a "Looser" here.
Mark I did...today.

A very dear friend of mine, the other day, was speaking to some friends about me.
It seems these friends cried when they came to know about certain aspects of my life.
I was moved when I heard this narration.
Then I was also informed that those very friends were told that I was a "Looser" in life.

I was so deeply engrossed in this book that I did not care much forthis rmark then, till it hit me.
A looser! Me?

When that thought planted by somebody who knows me so well, registered itself in all its negativity, it mulled within me, and my conscience.
There was a resultant conflict with the ego too.
How could I be a Looser?
The ego would take that stance.
Propel the mind...shift gears...get angry get mad.
The mind having got its juicy fodder started changing gears rapidly.
It commenced going through all the incidents of yesteryear's where I lost.
But for this book that I am reading and the " Power of Now"I would have retaliated for sure.
I did not.

Instead I decided I would have to halt the process then and there.
I told myself.
Reminded my inner being to not to go to the past...delve there and pull out fodder to be fed to the mind
Rather than that I commanded the mind to...Live in the now.
Accept the fact just to out wit the mind, that I am indeed, a Looser.
In all senses.

In the bargain...I got to have the best asset ' the omnipresent now's'
I am so glad I have them.
Thanks to the wisdom gained through... "The power of now"
Accept I did.
And here I am mockingly writing and accepting the fact that I am a "Looser" in every sense.

The mind, minus the nucleic fuel of negative thoughts... went calm and still,onceagain....still like a mill pond.

Then the mind got stuck to the word "Loose" and its derivatives.
It started playing with those words.
The first phrase that came to my mind was " you loose you snooze"
Hence the title to this essay.
Then I was reminded about the famous song from ABBA...where is says..." the winner takes it all, the looser standing small..."
I was also reminded further,of a phrase, that I had recently read and have been fathoming the same ever since.
In silent Glee.

"In every victory there is a loss built in too."

How true...you win ...you feel happy...as you are not aware momentarily of the losses.
The losses follow...for sure.
This phenomenon is like the low pressure areas that get created over the earth,
Air flows from high pressure areas to these low pressure areas...bringing in storms, hurricanes, and tornadoes.
Bringing in distruction.

So also... in the case of mind.
My past mind state.
Not my present mind state.
No longer...as I have learnt to quell the low pressure before it swells.
By killing the ego.
And accepting failures, losses, etc rather than contesting them.
Only those that I am accountable for.
I hold my selfsquarely responsible for them...for whatever reasons that led to failure and losses.
Not the ones that others are accountable for.
I get very sour on them as I am unable to control or make then realise the same.

In time I will be able to get to that level too.
With persistence and perseverance.

Loose... to gain losses, to win.
From within.The " Looser," Myself.


Arun
Alias
Arun Pilot