From here to where?

50-50. From here to where?


Having come thus far, at fifty.
I leave door to future... ajar,
Feeling: kind of... drifty, thrifty and nifty.

Am wondering, mulling and pondering, from here to where?
Do I dare?
Or, do I care to go, where I care, with care.
Minus, the natural dare.
Alone, and not as a pair!
Here, there, everywhere.


The journey, so far,
Has indeed been pretty fulfilling.
With a pound here and a shilling there,
As a pocket, filling.
Always standing me on thrills and thrilling,
Never finding me... kneeling.
Earned! ever, with hard toil and sweaty-tilling.
Leaving me always, with a joyous feeling.

Life's certainly been, a tutor,
Hence, now I live in the now, and not in the past/future.
I received all, that I needed,
Never, the wants! as they were always, kind of weeds, weeded.

Yearning, churning, burning, thoughts, ruled: the rooster then,
When at twenty, life was big and loud, as big as the big Ben.
With ides of time...
Just like the tides,
The ebbs and neaps,
Made me crawl, sweep, creep or leap,
Laugh,smile and weep.
Age, in the bargain I did, pretty deep.
As I did, I learnt how to keep pains,and not weep,
Pains that were earned and gained, by always climbing the steep.


So that I could keep myself, taut and straight,
Always: To walk the talk,
And talk the walk.
Never stalk or, ' idle talk ',
Nor, give in to weaknesses, those; that could bend, the upright gait.

Habitually, I chose and spoke, firm and straight.
As a result, I had to always...wait,
Wait, rather than fall for and swallow, any alluring bait.
Till date:
Wait I do,
With the same gusto and same ado.
Never wanting, in choosing, what to do and what not! to do.

However, now a days, I am beginning to wonder !
What's in store...out there in the yonder,
That is no longer as invigorating, as it was then.

As, a feeling of, seen all-done all, prevails now
And nothing seems to be like, the then "Wow."

Since, I no longer wield the shiny sword,
And have instead chosen to wield, the humble pen.
To gong, the gong of the bigger, bolder, big Ben.

Nobody knows,
Lifes' throes,
As it them at us, throws.
Gives us a rose,
With a thorn within,
To pin prick you,
And make you finally begin,
To listen,
To sounds of silence...
After a journey of :
Love, losses, gains, pains, strains,and other energy drains,
Wherein; one looses, so that the other gains,
Minus the pains.

The gainer not knowing,
That to loose and be called a "perpetual looser"
Was part of the grand plan,
Executed without any fanfare, or elan.
So that the gainer is neither pained, nor maimed.

Ever since loosing,
I have stopped choosing.
As: I am seeking
An answer...to:
From here to where?

Wherever! now, I don't care.
As it is no longer, a snare.
But a confident march, towards the truth, now unfolded, thread bare.
Thanks to my own, that of the past... dare.

Arun
Alias
Axee

23 August 2008